I’m really going to have to do something to occupy my time. I’m making myself crazy sitting around the house, checking the phone periodically to see if it is working. I’m waiting for an agent to ring, you see. Waiting on an agent is like dating, says a writing friend. You have the following options:
- play hard to get and make them wait
- don’t approach more than one, that way you appear chaste and respectable
- approach as many as possible, all at the same time, the more the merrier
Is there a step in the process of publishing that is actually easy? It all seems so riddled with potential land mines. Make a list of agents, write a query, write a cover letter, write an outline, write a synopsis, approach the right people in the right manner, wait the right amount of time, ask the right questions. I want to crawl into bed and forget all of it.
Treat writing as you would any other job, someone else suggest. But a job is characterized by routine. At work you are almost always aware of the things that are problematic or time consuming. In comparison, you write for an indefinite amount of time with no promise of an outcome. I step out onto a ledge in a blindfold each morning hoping the words will come.
You practice sculpting with your eyes closed, hoping to God that whatever is taking shape underneath does not turn out to look like Lionel Ritchie.
You take wrong turns. You battle doubts and little voices. At the end of it, you blindly reach out hoping that someone, anyone will want you.
I find it difficult to wait passively. At the same time, I don’t want to sell out at the first opportunity. Especially, as my first impulse is to jump up and down and shout ME ME ME! Choose ME!.
While I wait, I remind myself that I completed a novel and that counts for something, right? I should be more confident and self assured, but I also want people to be excited about my book and my future. I hope that’s not too tall an order to fill.