I, who is not me

Regarding the anonymity of blogging, thank you all for your interesting comments. It is great we are engaging in a topic that has much merit on both sides and I’m happy to see various discussions taking place

A ‘twitchy’ little personality seems to be the norm amongst many of the writers I know online. And while I agree with not wanting to be in a working relationship with someone that wouldn’t understand my occasional moments of instability, at the same time, I don’t particularly feel comfortable displaying those moments so openly. Particularly if my visitor’s aims are not to read about my challenges, but an attempt to figure out what sort of person I am by reading between the posts. I guess what I’m saying is I am happy to continue writing about the mad struggle, but on MY turf and on MY terms.

I want to continue to be as open as I’ve been for the past few years, only if my readers are aware (caveat emptor) that these ugly, raw and despairing moments of crippling self-doubt are what this blog is all about. I am not going to package it up and make it sound pretty and sweet so people can think I’m more together than I am. However, I may be tempted to do just that if I assume Someone is watching.

If I may have a Borgesian moment, ‘I’, the person who is Me, but not the only me, certainly not the Me of the blog, isn’t particularly happy with these confessional posts being written in her name. She, the composed and reserved one of publications and readings, would prefer to distance herself from this more chaotic, babbling and inconsistent Blogger, who chooses to reveal aspects of herself warts and all. Both voices are valid.

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