The Letter that never comes

I’ve been stalking my postman.  As soon as I hear him outside, I race the dog to the front door, half-dressed, extending my hand into his face. Over pints at the pub with his mates, the postman probably tells them about the scary woman who waits for the letter that never comes. This is the first competition I’ve entered and for some reason I thought I could handle it. The prize is a year’s worth of mentorship for my book. Too valuable not to attempt. Usually, I stay far away from contests. The odds are worse than the national lottery and I need confidence, not a breakdown brought on by undelivered mail. First, the deadline was scheduled for end of July. Then it changed to August. But it makes no difference, because I can honestly say (dear blog you are my witness) that there is no way I’m getting shortlisted. I’m not being dramatic or looking for sympathetic votes.  I am clear-eyed about my undelivered rejection. You see, I made the mistake of rereading my submission. Oh man, oh man. Optimist that I am, I’m still waiting for my letter.


  1. Niki, I read your post knowing exactly and completely how you feel. The doubts can eat you alive (they have me — it’s a wonder I’m still standing some days!). I had this same experience awaiting what I knew was a rejection for a scholarship to a writers conference this summer… in agony every day I waited for the proof that it was a no, but the whole time I held out this continued hope that it would be a yes. Even after I knew it was a definite no because the date had passed for the yes phone calls, I still hoped — naively — for a yes. Maybe their phone lines had broken? Maybe they dialed my number wrong? Oh, I had a ton of maybes. I was being silly and I knew it. And when the no came via the mail, I expected to be really, really disappointed and depressed. But it was sort of an anti-climax. I saw the rejection letter, said oh well, and shelved it away. I guess I was just mainly relieved that the waiting was over. The waiting is the worst. I can’t even stand on line in the store without going crazy!All that said, I’m so sorry you’re feeling down about your excerpt. I’m still holding out hope though. And especially I hope your answer comes very, very soon. Hurry up, postman!

  2. Niki, I’m in exactly the same boat, waiting for NV to announce, watching them defer the deadline (which has to mean that they have an exceptionally strong field, right? And that they’re taking proper time and consideration to look beyond superficial, ahem, flaws – why is a man waking up like a butterfly? Oh yeah, it’s not…).If not this then … eventually. But it’ll be good just to know.

  3. kallioppe

    Nova – Thanks for the comment, those damn doubts are like gnats at twiight. I know at this late stage they have probably already made their choice; yet part of persists in believing they are debating UN style and maybe they’ll order in Chinese and drop chow mein on my first page and skip over the first few paragraphs.

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